Ebook She/He/They/Me: For the Sisters, Misters, and Binary Resisters, by Robyn Ryle
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She/He/They/Me: For the Sisters, Misters, and Binary Resisters, by Robyn Ryle
Ebook She/He/They/Me: For the Sisters, Misters, and Binary Resisters, by Robyn Ryle
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Review
"Light and accessible, this is a smart and streamlined journey through the nuances of gender identity." - Booklist"With its unique format and accessible language, the text is perfect for readers of any age who are questioning their genders, generally curious about gender, or interested in better understanding a loved one's identity." - Publishers Weekly
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About the Author
Dr. Robyn Ryle is an author, speaker, and Professor of Sociology and Gender Studies at Hanover College, IN. She has written for Gawker, Little Fiction/Big Truths, and CALYX Journal.
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Product details
Hardcover: 400 pages
Publisher: Sourcebooks (March 5, 2019)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1492666947
ISBN-13: 978-1492666943
Product Dimensions:
6 x 1.5 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
3 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#67,890 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Highly recommended. So well written - a must read!
I got an ARC of this book.I was really excited for this book. It is formatted in a way that I have never seen a gender book formatted before. It fit for one of the reading challenges I am doing this year and it is about gender which is one of my favorite topics. The book is really basic level stuff, which is nice. It does get a bit repetitive if you read it straight through, but Ryle clearly put in effort to minimize that. The book can be read straight through and make sense, so if you wanted to make sure you got all of the stats and ideas out of the book, it would work. I have three issues with the book. Just two, that is pretty fantastic. Ryle clearly knows gender. I am impressed with what she was able to do and how she was able to make it interactive. My issues come down to some terms she used or didn't use. "Stealthy" is not the term that the trans community uses for not being openly trans. The term is Stealth. Like it isn't a super big deal, but if she was able to learn and teach trans topics so well in other areas (though she did fall a bit short when it came to the medical sections for trans people in a few ways, but they were so inclusive and affirming I can look past some of the details since they were small), she should have known that basic term. It is one of those terms that is being hotly debated all of the time and has been since trans hit the more mainstream world. Is being stealth the goal? Is being stealth a compliment? Is being stealth privilege? There are so many debates going on and she still didn't get the term right. She was so off about asexuality. Asexuality is not a lack of sex drive or a lack of desire to have sex. It is a lack of sexual attraction. Pretty much every time asexual was brought up I cringed. I am asexual, I talk with asexual people every day, I am part of asexual support groups. ASEXUALITY DOES NOT MEAN NOT HAVING SEX. Many asexual people have sex and enjoy sex. Many asexual people are kinky even. Many asexual people are completely grossed out by sex and will never consider having it in their lives. All are valid. Ryle misses that concept and minimizes a whole sexuality down to an act, despite warning the readers repeatedly to not do that. This book would have made a ton more sense if the term sex was used to refer to genitalia or chromosomal "gender". It would read smoother and make things easier to understand. It would have saved so much explaining and so much headache trying to figure out which sort of gender she was referring to when she said gender since she had some many gender options from identity, expression, physical, and more. This one is more a personal preference. Most of the people who I have read that have gender and sex as interchangeable or refuse to use sex as a term, tend to not be as inclusive as Ryle has shown herself to be. So I was really shocked. Normally it is a cis white (probably straight considering the way they talk about sexuality) dude who decides that his word is law who does this. So overall this book is pretty damn fantastic. There were some issues here or there, but for most people they will not even notice them. I just wish the asexuality portion was correct, then I could reasonably give this book five stars. I am just so tired of people getting it wrong and having to defend my sexuality to show it exists.
A simple introduction to the world of gender, the gender binary, and the myriad spaces in between, She/He/They/Me is as entertaining as it is informative. Robyn Ryle has chosen a Choose Your Own Adventure approach to the book, which allows readers to not only explore their own particular gender identity, but to learn about the gender possibilities from which it diverges.My first time through the book, I read it as myself, following my own gender journey - born into a time and place where gender exists, a culture where gender assignment happens at birth, and a culture with 2 genders. It was from there, moving into Chapter 13 where my journey became interesting, with Ryle talking about the shared tissue origins of penises and clitorises, and then offering 3 choices based on the length of genital tissue . . . with my own choice leading to questions of patriarchal versus matriarchal societies.For, you see, this is not just a book about biological gender and gender roles, but gender constructs, gender expectations, and gender transitions. It is a book about science, biology, psychology, and more. It is a book about society, philosophy, legality, and more.My next time through the book, I read it specifically as a parent, following the journey dictated by the partnership between my spouse and I. That allowed me to reconcile some of our disagreements, and better understand where they come from. After that, I read it again as myself, but as something of a what-if fantasy, allowing for small changes along the way. A few of those choices led to dead ends, sending me back to the start, but even those journeys were interesting because of what Ryle had to say about societies with infinite genders, or where gender does not exist.I then read it once more as both myself and a parent, imagining that my spouse and I were completely aligned, and explored the kind of 'perfect' world into which I would have loved to see us born. Bigger changes this time, always looking for the best case scenario, except there I cheated . . . denying the dead ends and instead stepping back to explore the other option.Ultimately, no matter how you read it, no matter what choices you make, each journey leads to a better understanding of who we are, where we are, and what might lie ahead. The chapters themselves are not particularly deep, with many being little more than a page or two, but the journey gets deeper the farther you follow it. More importantly, the way the book is constructed, She/He/They/Me is possibly even more valuable to friends and family than to those of us questioning or exploring our gender, as it forces us to confront the how and why of contemporary gender.
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